pretty sure..

so i'm pretty sure that being a mom is the BEST job ever! there is nothing better than getting to hang out all the time with the person i love the most and with the person that loves me equally as much. i am seriously so in love with this little boy and he makes every single day amazing and each and every day just gets better and better. seeley's personality is now starting to really come through and it's so fun and kinda crazy to watch him grow, learn, and pretty much change every single day. plus, there is nothing better than walking into a room or just picking him up every morning when he wakes up and be welcomed with the hugest smile ever. he is starting to get pretty clingy with me, which honestly i don't know why because i do spend quite a bit of time hanging out with my mom and he see's my brother and sister-in-law and their kids quite a bit but he is starting to get a little fussy with them when he holds them and will freak out until i grab him back. although, he LOVES rey so stinkin much and it is just so cute. the crazy thing is, he probably spends more time around my mom than he does rey but he just loves him. as soon as seeley see's rey the biggest smile will come to his face! apparently rey is pretty funny too because seeley will just laugh and laugh at rey. i will do the exact same thing and he will just stare at me, but with rey? he goes nuts! one day he was laughing so hard he started crying! rey is super busy with working and going to school full time so it isn't like he can be around much but seeley definitely know's that rey is his daddy! plus, a lot of the time when rey is home he has to do homework so he can't pay all that much attention to seeley, but if seeley see's him he'll just start staring at rey and eventually yell at rey until rey looks and pays him attention. very very cute! i knew i loved rey, but i never knew how much love i could have for someone until i saw seeley and rey play. without a doubt every single time i watch them the biggest feeling of love just washes over me. i am so lucky to have such a sweet family and such an amazing husband that takes care of seeley and me and is doing his best to provide for us, even if it's hard for him. it is rough to not be able to spend too much time together, but when rey is done with school it will all be worth it.

so, there isn't much going on with me other than taking care of my little man. every day is just spent hanging out with and taking care of my little man. i generally have netflix on during the day so i get to catch up on my favorite shows which is nice, but i'm definitely busy! when seeley's awake i'm busy playing with him and keeping him entertained, and when he naps it is a mad dash to get the house clean and eat something. so, as many of you probably know i cut my hair recently. it's still rather weird to look in the mirror, and it's kind of a shock, but it's super convenient. it used to take me about 40-60 minutes to shower, style my hair, and put on my make-up, and now it takes me about 20-30 minutes. i think i may grow it back out at some point since i think i look good with chinish length hair, but for now i'm planning on keeping it short because it's nice to have one less thing to worry about when i'm so busy.

well, that's it for now. at some point i'll add some pictures of seeley since i take waaaay too many but that is all for now.

on fire!!

so i'm not sure what has gotten into me, but this past week i have constantly been on the go! generally i'm the type that likes to hang out and relax, but this week i've been super bored and been all about cleaning, and organizing, and just taking care of things.. i feel like i did when i was nesting before seeley was born! the only difference is this time i'm doing it! when i was pregnant i was getting so frustrated because i wanted to clean and organize, but i was just too stinking tired and exhausted to do it. well, now i'm just constantly cleaning and getting things done! back in the day when seeley would nap i would generally nap with him, or have some me time and just chill out and the past few days i've been cleaning and scrubbing, organizing and decorating! today i didn't really have much to do, so during seeley's big morning nap i went and made a recipe list and a shopping list for my next freezer meal cooking day! the only problem is i still have 5 freezer meals left over from last time, but i'm itching to make more! i'm pretty excited because i compiled a few i found on pinterst and a few family recipes that i think will freeze well! i'm pretty sure i'll be able to prepare it all in an hour or less for about $50-$60 and i'll be making 8 meals! pretty sure freezer cooking is my new obsession! having a baby it's so nice to just pull something out of the freezer and pop it into the crock pot or oven and not have to worry about cooking.. generally i just need to make a side which is easy peasy! pretty sure next time i'm pregnant i'm going to really stock my freezer and try and have a month's worth of food so i wont have to worry about it! this time i was lucky and live with my mom so she took care of dinner, and rey's grandma was here for a week making food so i didn't have to worry about it, but next time i have a kid we'll hopefully have our own place and wont be so lucky on the help department! i'm not sure what it is about babies, but generally around 5-7 they seem to get grumpy and just want to be held and that is generally the time i'd try to do dinner and it would be super frustrating, but not so much anymore!

so speaking of always wanting to do stuff these days, i've been watching a lot of hgtv while i feed seeley and it has made me want to remodel and decorate! ha! well, i'm pretty sure i convinced franny to work on some upgrades in her house so i'm pretty sure we're probably going to start painting, and maybe putting a backsplash in her kitchen.. so that will be fun!

anywho! i think that is all that is going on with me right now.. so peace out!

so much love!

as the title states i seriously have so much love these days! first off, seeley has by far been one of the biggest blessings in my entire life and i can't believe how much love i have for this little guy. i know i've said it before, but seriously every day i love him more and more. i love holding him and snuggling him and when he smiles at me my heart just melts! i'll admit, during those first two weeks after seeley was born i experienced those lameo flameo baby blues and one very long sleepless night i wondered if i was even going to be a good mom and maybe that i wasn't ready to be a mom, but that couldn't be further from the truth. i may not be the best mom in the world, but i'm trying and i would do absolutely anything for this little guy! my life has been so incredibly blessed and i thank my Heavenly Father every single night for blessing me with him and allowing me of all people to be his mom! plus, he's such a good baby! he really only cries when he has gas and is for the most part a very easy baby. when he's hungry he just grunts in a very cute demanding way and hardly ever cries unless i'm taking too long. i also thing that God knew i needed a baby that liked sleep as much as me because seeley has pretty much been an awesome sleeper since about 4 weeks! anytime between 10:30-2 am he goes to sleep and sleeps anywhere from 5-8 hours, wakes up and eats and is asleep within an hour or less than sleeps another 3-5 hours! i keep waiting for him to stop sleeping so well since i know i can't be this lucky, but he's been doing this for almost six weeks now so i'm just keeping my fingers crossed!

having seeley has also increased my love for rey! being a parent is hard work, but i'm so blessed that i have a partner like rey on my side! he loves seeley so much and always asks me to send him pictures of seeley while he is at work or school and as soon as he comes home he can't wait to hold seeley and play with him. he's also awesome at diaper duty! if i ever ask rey to change a diaper or do anything for seeley he'll always do it! rey also gives seeley his nightly baths and watching those two bond has to be the cutest thing ever! i'm pretty sure seeley is going to be daddy's little buddy because rey can't get enough of the little guy! also, seeley was blessed at church on sunday and i think that is definitely on my list of best day's ever ranking with being sealed, married, and seeley being born. rey gave seeley his blessing and he told me that he's only ever heard probably two baby blessings in his entire life and the blessing he gave seeley was amazing and by far the best i've ever heard! many people came up after and told rey the same thing and said that they loved that it wasn't the same old generic blessing that you hear every other baby blessing. honestly, i couldn't be prouder of rey and like i said am so blessed to have him as a husband and i so look forward to raising seeley and someday raising our future children together!

well, i figure i'll end here since this is probably getting rather gushy!!

so confuzzled!!

ahhh! i don't know what to do! since i had my little mishap during childbirth i figured that made my decision up over going back to work.. i was somewhat sad since i was going to miss my work friends and of course free movies, but i figured it was worth it to be with seeley. well, when i went to go and put in my two weeks notice they told me that as long as i bring in a doctor's note they will work with me and let me start back later and will also let me work part time.. so then i got all excited because now we have a bunch of doctor's bills and me working could pay that off and we'd still be able to save money and buy seeley nice things and not worry, but then when i think about working i get all depressed because i know i'll miss seeley so incredibly much and i'm afraid i'll miss some of his firsts! plus, with breastfeeding it seems like a pain.. i have been pumping each day and building a freezer stash, but it still seems somewhat annoying.. so then i start thinking i'll just quit, but then when i think about that i get worried about money, and sad about leaving my friends and free movies.. in the end i do think as long as my work continues to work with me and will only make me work 2-3 shifts a week i'll do it! i think it will be nice for me to get out a socialize, but still it just tugs at my heart strings to think about leaving my little baby boy.. even if it is for only 10-20 hours a week! oh boy! life is hard!

just a lil update!

not really much to report on, but figured i would write an update! so, i can't say it enough, but i am so in love with my little boy! it's amazing how much love you can feel for a child, but everyday i love him more and more. after hearing the horrible news of that movie theatre shooting and hearing about the 3 month old being injured i couldn't help but hold seeley a little closer today and give him loads of kisses. sure, he's been a major grump today, but that's not stopping me from loving on him! ha!

so being a mommy is really the bestest job ever! yes, it's amazing tiring and time consuming and your whole entire life revolves around taking care of them, but it's so worth it and i love the bond that seeley and i have. he's gotten to the point that if someone else is holding him and he hears my voice he immediately perks up and looks for me. the best is in the morning when he wakes up and i hear him stirring around and i get up as soon as he sees my face his whole entire face lights up and he has the biggest smile! even if i'm beyond tired i don't care because i get to go and snuggle him and take care of him. these days seeley has a good day, where pretty much all day he's just the smiliest and happiest baby, and then the next day he's good until about 4-5 pm and then he becomes a major grump (today being his grump day). i think he just gets a major buildup of gas and he looks like he is in major pain until he gets that gas and poop out! i never in my life thought i'd be happy to hear someone fart and poop! it's crazy! speaking of crazy, i can't believe how much he has changed in six weeks! he's so alert now and loves looking at things and reaches out and grabs things and smiles so much! he loves looking at people and smiling and will talk to you! it really is the cutest thing! i know he's only 7 weeks old, but he really is getting old so quick! i swear each day he gets bigger and grows over night! i weighed him at the beginning of this past week and he weighed 9.5 pounds! plus, he's now almost growing out of his newborn clothes! when he was born he didn't fit in preemie clothes since he was too long, but his newborn clothes were too big but he wore them anyway! now he's almost in the middle because his 0-3 month clothes are too big and his newborn clothes are getting tight, especially his night sleepers which are adorably cute and it's making me so sad! one of my favorite sleepers is so dang cute and it was the first sleeper we put him in and he's almost out of it, makes me want to tear up a little bit!

well, that's pretty much it! plus, seeley looks like he's about to wake up from a nap so i'm out!

crazy times!

well, here it is 4:30 in the morning and i'm wide awake! not only that, seeley's busy sleeping away in his pack n play next to me! his crazy hours are really messing with me! every day his hours change, yes, they are getting better, but still they are constantly changing! yesterday he was awake after this many hours so i think on instinct my body just woke up, but he's still busy just sleeping away and i'm wide awake! including today, he's been sleeping pretty good the past three nights and i'm hoping it stays this way! before, he went to bed at 10, woke up at 2, was up for 4 hours then back to bed for around 6. well, the past three nights he's gone to bed around 10-11ish and then pretty much sleeping through the night. well, the day before he went to bed at 10, woke up at 4:30 to feed, then was back in bed by five and slept till 10. it definitely felt nice to have a long night's sleep! the only problem is, i'm not a deep sleeper, especially not while having seeley sleep near me! i wake up at every little sound, and if i wake up on my own i get paranoid and have to check and make sure he's still breathing if i'm not hearing any sounds! plus, i'm having those typical post pregnancy night sweats and boy is it gross to wake up randomly and be completely covered in sweat! i know this is probably tmi, but when i woke up tonight my pillow was literally drenched in sweat and was super wet that i had switch pillows. i'm not sure why, but i swear nobody tells you this stuff about having babies, but there are a lot of non fun aftermath stuff when it comes to having babies. in the end though, it's all worth it to be a mom to such a cute and precious little baby. when i woke up a few moments ago, i was actually pretty sad he's not up because i just want to snuggle and hold him! he seriously is such a sweet baby and i'm so lucky to be his mom! really, the only times he cries is when he gets gas and other than that he's a pretty happy baby. it's especially fun now because he is really starting to smile and coo a lot! yesterday it was pretty adorable at one point because franny was watching him while i showered and when i came back he was just sitting there chilling with her, and then she handed him to me and as soon as he saw me and heard my voice his face just lit up and he started to "talk" and coo! it's moments like that that make all the hard times so worth it! i seriously love being this little guy's mom and i love seeing him grow! every day he changes and does more and i can see all the new things that he's learned and how he does more and becomes more alert and it's becoming funner and funner! not that i didn't love him or anything, but i've never exactly been a fan of the newborn stage, so him becoming more alert and interacting with me is so much fun! anywho! i'm going to try and go back to bed so wish me luck on getting a few more hours of sleep!

so in love!

i am so in love with this little boy of mine! it is crazy how much you can love someone that really you just met! plus, every single day i just marvel at how much i love him, and then the next day i swear that that love has increased. the thing i find funniest is when he's wide awake in the middle of the night i can't wait for him to fall asleep so i myself can catch a couple of z's.. and then as soon as i put him down i miss him! he sleeps in his pack n' play next to my bed, and even though he's pretty much right next to me i miss him and can't wait to hold and snuggle him again. i'll admit, those first two weeks were probably the roughest and most hardest days of my life, but every single second of it was so worth it! however i'm definitely liking being a mom much more these days! i'm not sure if it was because the 3 week mark is when i took a week off from visitors, or if it was the fact that my hormones finally decided to settle down, or if it was just me getting the hang of things but that third week everything just seemed to be so much easier and i started to figure out what his different cries meant and what he wanted when he wanted. plus, i finally started to get into a good rhythm with breastfeeding. i'm not sure if i was just ignoring this, or if really nobody had ever told me, but breastfeeding is freaking hard! it's not just some simple thing and it's very time consuming.. especially when you are feeding the baby every 1-2 hours. after like 2 days i was totally ready to give up, but everyone kept telling me it gets easier and even though those first two weeks sucked it really did get easier by week 3. from what i hear everyone says it really becomes second nature and a piece of cake by week 6 and that you will really start to enjoy it then, so as of right now i'm just waiting for that week 6, even though right now i'm really starting to not mind it! anywho! seeley is sleeping so i better try and catch some sleep before his next feeding!