it's my blog and i'll whine if i want to..

basically the title says it all! this is my blog and since it is my blog i'm going to use it for its intended purpose and complain! so, this kind of thing happens all the time, but after the day i have had i finally got set off and decided that i just need to blog and get my feelings out. i have this marine wife friend who i just think the world of and in her blog she just writes her feelings and doesn't care if people get pissed because honestly, people just don't understand what she is going through. yes, people get offended at some of the things she is saying, but she is just saying what she needs to say to get her through and if that pisses people off maybe then perhaps there is a reason why they are getting pissed off and they themselves aren't being the bestest of friends.. anyway.. i think i have come to the conclusion that i need to be more like that and not let things just roll off my back. deployments SUCK and honestly i don't need any added stress so i think i'm pretty much done holding it in... so here it goes!
i think i can pretty much speak for ANY marine or military wife when i say that there is nothing more annoying than somebody complaining about missing their boyfriend/fiance/husband. within the past few days i have seen WAY too many facebook friends complaining about missing their man even though they are only going to be apart for a few days and heavin forbid ONE freaking night! i mean really? really peoples? oh i'm sorry.. it must be soooo hard to be away from them when you can call or text them whenever you want.. and hey, if you really wanted you could fly down and be with them. yes, i do get that you miss them and you totally have the right to, but when i can't text, call, or see them for seven months it just gets a little too much to handle. before you start crying and freaking out about how "hard" things are for you realize what i, and many other military wives are going through. heck, i don't even have it as bad as many other wives who have men in afghanistan. luckily i don't have to have the added stress of not knowing whether or not my husband is safe but i don't have the luxury of talking to him whenever i want. heck, the last phone call i got was a two minute phone call that was mostly fuzz and i was somewhat able to pick out the words 'love you' and 'miss you'. so basically, in the past month that is mine and his conversation.. so before you start complaining about how hard things are just remember what you do have and how many other wives would LOVE to be in your situation. who knows.. maybe i'm just being an insensitive beezy.. but like i mentioned with my friend's blog.. what does that make you? -end rant here-
peace in the middle east blogger peoples!

good news?!?

so i really do try not to get excited over anything these days when it comes to marine corps related stuff because i have just been let down way too many times in the past. to kind of set up where i am going i should probably give a little background for those of you who don't know. with less than a month until rey deployed they said they were going to have a weigh in and then they would see which guys needed to lose weight and they were then going to be given ten days to lose all that weight. well, rey ended up being way over what he was SUPPOSED to be at, which in all honesty i can't ever see rey being at that weight with his body build. so in the end it was pretty much going to be impossible for him to make that weight. he definitely tried and even though he lost 10 pounds he still wasn't at what he was SUPPOSED to be at. in the end this pretty much screwed rey up BIG TIME! while on deployment he now has to work out like 2-3 times a day and even though the guy working out with them told they need to eat more since they are working out so much, well, whenever the guys on this program do eat people make ridiculous comments! for instance, i sent rey cake in a jar for the 4th of july and then stupid a holes made comments like 'of, of course you'd get cake fatty,'.. so basically it's just ridiculous! that is not even the worst part! rey has finally reached his cutting score to get promoted to corporal and because he is on this program he is getting non ranked every month until they get back from deployment.. which of course means he wont actually pick up corporal. well, the other day the guys had to do this big run and guess who came in first place? yep! rey!!! well, two of his sgt's told rey that because of that they are going to see if they can get him un non-ranked! like i said, i'm trying not to get myself too excited, but it would be soooo amazing if they could! first off, he should have gotten promoted in july, but due to being non ranked he wasn't able to and he would finally get what he deserves! as a corporal you get FAR more respect than just a lance corporal and he more than likely wouldn't get treated as badly as he does now. plus, being a corporal you get paid more.. so it would be absolutely amazing to get more money especially since we are going to need to start saving up the moolah for when rey gets out of the marine corps! i know i shouldn't get too excited, but i just can't help it! i just want this for him so bad for his sake! so here's to hoping he gets un non ranked and gets promoted in either september or october!
peace in the middle east!

2 months!!!

yay!!! i have officially reached the two month mark! a little while ago i got a letter from one of my bestest friends who happens to be on a mission right now and in it she wrote that the days feel like weeks and the weeks feel like days and i feel like i can totally relate to that. every single day seems to drag and i feel like i am so far from seeing rey, but now that two months have passed i can look back and think, 'wow, that went by fast'. actually, one of the crazy things is, these past two months have seemed shorter than just ONE of the times rey went away for a month.. so that's a good sign! my guess is it's the fact that i am working. yes, at times its super annoying to be working with a bunch of immature high school kids or kids that are out of high school but feel the need to act like they are still in it, but it's keeping me busy and i am super thankful for that! plus, the extra moolah is a bonus! it's definitely not much, but it's something and it pays for all of our bills and spending money so pretty much for the next couple of months all of rey's paychecks will go towards buying our car! woot woot! oh, so i just found out where rey is at the moment, and it's totally not where i thought! it sounds kind of miserable due to how hot it is there at the moment, but i just think it's so awesome how he gets to these really cool and awesome places that pretty much nobody gets to go to... well, i think that's about it for now!
peace in the middle east!

okay seriously?!?!

okay.. seriously?! i'm really really pissed and annoyed right now! first off, rey's mom and i have never really gotten along and things have always been pretty rocky. although, after her trip to visit rey and i in california i actually thought things had gotten better. yes, i know she's been trying to get a hold of me to go and hang out with her but after all the crap that lady has put me through and how rude she has been i have avoided that at all costs. in my opinion i really shouldn't be hanging out with people that will make me uncomfortable or bring me down since this is already hard as it is.. WELL! gina has the tendancy to go to people's pictures on facebook and share them on her own page.. well, the other day she posted a picture of rey and his ex girlfriend's dog. i mean honestly?! why is she posting pictures of his ex girlfriend's dog and not our current dog? then today she wrote on my wall on facebook so i went to write her back and on her newsfeed thing it says she wrote on his ex girlfriend's page.. so obviously i was a bit curious and went to check and she wrote on this girl's page "love you so much, and glad that you were always my best friend" and then this girl's next status update was "i miss u!! heart! heart! heart!" and then gina replied saying "miss you too". grrrr! i don't know if i'm just overreacting but seriously that just feels like a huge slap in the face! plus, i honestly don't think it's cool for her to be writing his ex girlfriend at all! rey hasn't been with this girl for about 3-4 years now and she was a beezy to him, not to mention she cheated on him! ahhh! i'm just sooo mad right now!

my thoughts on... INCEPTION

WARNING: SPOILER!

IF YOU HAVE NOT SEEN THE MOVIE AND DON'T WANT ANYTHING RUINED DON'T READ ANY FURTHER!!

okay! so i know it's kind of lame that i am writing about a movie, but it's my blog and i can write about whatever i want! so ha!! so the other night i went and saw the movie inception with laura! wow!! that movie was pretty stinkin awesome, not gonna lie! i think perhaps it is now in my top ten favorite movies and as soon as it comes in the free list next week i totally want to go again! anyways.. so about the movie, well, more or less the end. i'm not even going to try and explain it but to those who have seen it at the end when he spins the thing the movie cuts out before you get to see if it drops or not, which leaves the audience not knowing whether or not this was a dream. personally i was a little sad about this and so i decided to take a little looksie around the internet and read a bunch of theories and here are my two favorites which could go either way.

my favorite theory was that it wasn't a dream. at the very end it appears like the little thing is kind of wobbling and some people said that they remember cobb saying that in a dream the thing will spin absolutely perfectly which means it would have to be real life since it wasn't spinning perfectly. now, i can't remember his exact words, so perhaps when i see the movie again i will be looking for that line!

now, the other theory that i liked that was on the side of it actually being a dream is... at the end the girl tells arthur that he'll be okay.. or something along those lines. since she had been able to see his dreams she knew what everything looked like so she recreated a perfect dream for him to be happy in. plus, the kids were in the same clothes as they were the last time he saw them.. which does seem a little suspicious! plus, at the end he doesn't even wait to see if it's a dream or not, because at that point in time it doesn't even look like he cares.

so yeah! those are my two theories.. or actually someone else's that i liked! for the dude's sake i hope it was real, but if it was in fact a dream and they decided to make another one i'd be pretty stoked! that movie was just awesome! plus, you can't beat a movie starring leonardo dicaprio, joseph gordon levitt, and cillian murphey!

Music

so, my parents volunteer at the sandy ampitheater every summer and my dad was telling me how jon schmidt was going to be playing there and i recognized the name and knew he played the piano but i wanted to look up some of his songs so i went to youtube and looked it up and WOW! that guy is amazing!! i'm actually listening to one of his songs right now and it's so peaceful and beautiful! i'm not normally the type to really enjoy music without words but this music is really getting to me.. one song in particular! THIS is the song! if you have the time i really think you should listen to this! maybe it's because rey is gone and i'm just an emotional wreck these days but the first time i listened to it tears just came to my eyes! yes, i'm the type to cry to songs when i feel like i connect with it, but those are generally songs that have to do with the military, so honestly i don't really know.. it just gets to me. asjhd! i wish i could just describe the feelings that i am feeling right now but i don't know how... blah! enough of that! another cool video i found of his i think a lot of you may like is him playing the piano to taylor swift's love story and coldplay's viva la vida. i already loved both of those songs but something about it being played on the piano is just so.. beautiful i guess! ENJOY! well, since my life is pretty dull and the same old same old i think this shall be all.. OH WAIT! tomorrow is 8 weeks! yay me! it's been tough but i'm getting through.. now if only time could go a tiny bit faster!

My Inspiration

So awhile back I was having a really really rough couple of days and it honestly seemed like EVERYTHING that could go wrong went wrong. I then came across this talk by Elder Jeffrey R Holland and there was this one part that just really got to me and any time when I feel this overwhelming feeling of frustration or weakness I re-read a part of this talk and I thought I'd post it on my blog!

Thirty years ago last month, a little family set out to cross the United States to attend graduate school—no money, an old car, every earthly possession they owned packed into less than half the space of the smallest U-Haul trailer available. Bidding their apprehensive parents farewell, they drove exactly 34 miles up the highway, at which point their beleaguered car erupted.

Pulling off the freeway onto a frontage road, the young father surveyed the steam, matched it with his own, then left his trusting wife and two innocent children—the youngest just three months old—to wait in the car while he walked the three miles or so to the southern Utah metropolis of Kanarraville, population then, I suppose, 65. Some water was secured at the edge of town, and a very kind citizen offered a drive back to the stranded family. The car was attended to and slowly—very slowly—driven back to St. George for inspection—U-Haul trailer and all.

After more than two hours of checking and rechecking, no immediate problem could be detected, so once again the journey was begun. In exactly the same amount of elapsed time at exactly the same location on that highway with exactly the same pyrotechnics from under the hood, the car exploded again. It could not have been 15 feet from the earlier collapse, probably not 5 feet from it! Obviously the most precise laws of automotive physics were at work.

Now feeling more foolish than angry, the chagrined young father once more left his trusting loved ones and started the long walk for help once again. This time the man providing the water said, “Either you or that fellow who looks just like you ought to get a new radiator for that car.” For the second time a kind neighbor offered a lift back to the same automobile and its anxious little occupants. He didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry at the plight of this young family.

“How far have you come?” he said. “Thirty-four miles,” I answered. “How much farther do you have to go?” “Twenty-six hundred miles,” I said. “Well, you might make that trip, andyour wife and those two little kiddies might make that trip, but none of you are going to make it in that car.” He proved to be prophetic on all counts.

Just two weeks ago this weekend, I drove by that exact spot where the freeway turnoff leads to a frontage road, just three miles or so west of Kanarraville, Utah. That same beautiful and loyal wife, my dearest friend and greatest supporter for all these years, was curled up asleep in the seat beside me. The two children in the story, and the little brother who later joined them, have long since grown up and served missions, married perfectly, and are now raising children of their own. The automobile we were driving this time was modest but very pleasant and very safe. In fact, except for me and my lovely Pat situated so peacefully at my side, nothing of that moment two weeks ago was even remotely like the distressing circumstances of three decades earlier.

Yet in my mind’s eye, for just an instant, I thought perhaps I saw on that side road an old car with a devoted young wife and two little children making the best of a bad situation there. Just ahead of them I imagined that I saw a young fellow walking toward Kanarraville, with plenty of distance still ahead of him. His shoulders seemed to be slumping a little, the weight of a young father’s fear evident in his pace. In the scriptural phrase his hands did seem to “hang down.” In that imaginary instant, I couldn’t help calling out to him: “Don’t give up, boy. Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead—a lot of it—30 years of it now, and still counting. You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.”

I LOVE the part at the end where he is driving with his wife thirty years later because it really does give me hope! This deployment wont last forever and I truly do think Rey and I will be stronger because of this. If we can get through this we can get through anything! I can't wait for the day when Rey is out of the Marine Corps and we have kids and someday grandkids and we can tell them about this deployment and it will be nothing but a distant memory of how true love can make it through anything! I truly do believe that true happiness is ahead and even though times are tough now, they will get better.. so so so much better! Like Elder Holland said, Trust in God and believe in good things to come and I definitely do!

Hands..

Blah!! I hate knowing Rey is hurt and that I can't be there to help or make him feel better! I feel so powerless and it sucks!! I know there really isn't much I could actually do to help but all the same I really do wish I could be there!

What happened do you ask? To be honest I'm not all that sure. When he wrote me about it many words were misspelled which I am guessing has to do with his hand injuries and due to the drugs he was on after going to the surgeon for stitches. From what I understand he was carrying a big dude on a stretcher.. he tripped and his hand got stuck and rubbed against the ground which I guess is kind of like gravel and his hands got pretty torn up. He mentioned that he pretty much bled all over everyone and on his right hand you could see the bone on his pinky finger. He also said it was the most intense pain he had ever felt and I think for somebody as strong and tough as him that actually means something. I've seen this guy and every time he comes back from training he has all these cuts and scratches all over him and to me they look pretty painful and he generally says they're nothing.. so once again.. i think for him to say it was painful seriously means something!

Ugh!! Once again I hate knowing that I can't be there!! The past week or so has been such a good week for me and everything seemed to finally be going right and then when I woke up and checked my facebook and saw that I had a message from Rey with the bad news I have just been depressed! I'm sure he'll be fine and luckily has a good friend that has already told me that he'll take care of Rey but I just wish it was me doing the taking care of..

BEST HUSBAND EVER!!!

Yep! He's the BEST!!!

So this morning there was a knock at the door and there was a lady

with these BEAUTIFUL flowers!!! I already knew I was lucky to be

married to someone as amazingly sweet and considerate as rey, but this

was just the bestest surprise!! seriously i am so LUCKY! without a doubt

i have the bestest husband in the whole entire world!!

happy blog

since most of my posts have been depressing i figured it was time for a super happy one, and since i'm in a really good mood today i figured today would be the day! i think this good mood started saturday when i realized i have made it six whole weeks! the reason why i think its cool is because when i first got back it took about three weeks before i was able to start working back at jordan commons.. and it really feels like i just started a week ago.. so basically the time after i started went by like three times as fast as when i was doing nothing.. so i'm pretty much just stoked to have this job to keep myself busy and occupied so i don't have to sit at home feeling sorry for myself and sad because my husband isn't with me! the other thing on saturday was my brother spencer and his family from idaho came to visit and i had no idea! that night i got to go see fireworks with them and helped my niece and nephew sell glow sticks! it was pretty darn fun and who doesn't love being around family?!

well, sunday it did stink because i had to go to work in the morning.. but when i came home everyone was watching the phantom of the opera! i seriously forgot how much i love that movie!! plus, it's so crazy watching it now that gerard butler is pretty famous! half the time it doesn't even look like him! then, after that we had taylor tacos!! yummy!! after dinner my brother spencer taught us how to play this game called ticket to ride and it was seriously so fun! a little bit confusing but fun nonetheless! let's not forget that i also won!! woot woot! after the game we went outside and watched the kids do pop its and sparklers and since my house is in the middle of the street we had two firework displays going on each side which was pretty fun! plus, one family had a ton of illegal fireworks which made it even more cool! yes, the night did have a downside when my nephew got a bean.. YES A BEAN, stuck in his ear and had to go to the er. in the end it turned out fine because they finally did get it out..

then today i went to work, got a free lunch, and then won a case of vitamin water and on top of that i got time and a half! score! then after i came home from work i had gotten a very sweet facebook message from rey and he left something on my wall saying he had sent me a surprise! i seriously feel so unbelievably lucky! he is seriously the bestest husband in the whole entire world and yes, it stinks to be apart, but i feel so blessed to have someone as awesome and amazing as him to miss and love, and it's also awesome to know that he is our there missing and loving me just as much! i can't wait for the day when he not only gets back from this deployment.. but gets out of the marines and he is all mine and the only times we will ever be apart will be because we want to! for now i shall just have to try and be patient!!

well, i think that's it for now!

peace!

kristen's current thoughts

isn't it crazy how sometimes all day you just think about stuff and then finally when it comes time to express your feelings it all goes away? that's how i feel right now! my shift today at work was from one to nine and during most of that time it was pretty slow so i obviously had lots of time to think but i guess that thinking wasn't put to good enough use! so since it feels like it's been awhile since i've blogged i think this will just be a random blog post with random things!

okay! so i think one of the funniest things that happened today was two of my co-workers talking about this one guy's date! fyi, i'm pretty much made of awesome and my original shift was from twelve to five, but since this kid wanted to go on a date he asked me to switch.. so anyways! this one kid was telling this other guy about how his date was super hot! then the other guy was like 'is she really that hot?' and the kid was like 'yeah, she really is,' so then the other guy is all 'send me a picture then' and then the kid going on the date is like 'well, she's alright'. honestly, i just busted out laughing and pretty much during the rest of my shift if i even so much as thought about that conversation i couldn't help but laugh. silly boys!!

so let's see.. what else! OH! so last weekend when i was working one of my managers asked me to go over and help in Snappy's for a night and of course i went over but everyone was SUPER mean over there.. especially the supervisor! like honestly, i think that chick almost made me cry! i'm already super emotional over the fact that i'm not with my husband, and then being around biotchy people just doesn't seem to help! anyways, she kept snapping at me which i think is lame due to the fact that i haven't even stepped foot into snappys for like over three years so she could have given me a break! anyways.. i found out today that she got fired! HAHA! karma's a beezy!

now, her being fired brings me to a whole different dilemma! i think i've come to the conclusion that i think i may just want to stay at jordan commons and eventually work my way up into management since i'm pretty sure rey will bring in the real bacon and then me and my family can have free movies for life! wooooot! well, my original plan was to leave jordan commons again in december when the hubby comes home.. move to cali for like 6-8 months.. come back a month or two before rey does and get a job again at jordan commons. well, the fact that a supervisor position just opened up seems really tempting! number one.. it's REALLY hard to be back and have absolutely no power whatsoever even though i sometimes feel like i know more about what i'm doing than some of my higher ups right now! the other reason why it's tempting is because if i just stayed and worked when rey gets back.. when he gets out i could have a decently paying job, since who knows what he will be able to get when he gets out of the marines in a little over a year! plus, that way i would be closer to my goal of getting a job in management. the only thing is, this would mean rey and i would be apart for over a year and a half! yes, i know we can do it.. but i don't want to! plus, he's very likely going to get some easy job where he wont be leaving super early and getting home super late.. which means this time we'd be able to enjoy our time in california.. so i think i'd really be missing out on some awesome time that we could be spending together! I DUNNO! just super confused about it all.. although i'm like 90% sure that i'm not going to apply because rey has only been gone about six weeks as of right now and i miss him SOOOOO much and can't imagine what a year and a half would feel like!

anyways.. i'm feeling uber tired and have work again tomorrow so i think it's time for me to hit the sack! goodnight!!