so confuzzled!!

ahhh! i don't know what to do! since i had my little mishap during childbirth i figured that made my decision up over going back to work.. i was somewhat sad since i was going to miss my work friends and of course free movies, but i figured it was worth it to be with seeley. well, when i went to go and put in my two weeks notice they told me that as long as i bring in a doctor's note they will work with me and let me start back later and will also let me work part time.. so then i got all excited because now we have a bunch of doctor's bills and me working could pay that off and we'd still be able to save money and buy seeley nice things and not worry, but then when i think about working i get all depressed because i know i'll miss seeley so incredibly much and i'm afraid i'll miss some of his firsts! plus, with breastfeeding it seems like a pain.. i have been pumping each day and building a freezer stash, but it still seems somewhat annoying.. so then i start thinking i'll just quit, but then when i think about that i get worried about money, and sad about leaving my friends and free movies.. in the end i do think as long as my work continues to work with me and will only make me work 2-3 shifts a week i'll do it! i think it will be nice for me to get out a socialize, but still it just tugs at my heart strings to think about leaving my little baby boy.. even if it is for only 10-20 hours a week! oh boy! life is hard!