rough day

well, i knew it had to come sometime, and even though i'm excited for what's to come to hopefully keep me busy, i couldn't help but have a day where i feel beyond depressed. this past week has been the best week of this deployment so far. everyday i have gotten to talk to rey for a minimum of an hour and a half and even got to skype twice! it was just perfect, and of course i knew he had to leave this port sometime, i just tried to forget about that because it has been so amazing to talk to him. well, they are leaving that port tomorrow which means we just had our last phone call and i can't stop crying. i feel like i did at the beginning of this deployment because i know that this isn't going to happen again this deployment and even though i have gone through almost five months now, two months is still a long time! i just feel beyond discouraged and even though we just said goodbye like ten minutes ago i miss him now more than ever. i know i am being selfish but i am sick of super short e-mails since he only gets twenty minutes on the computer a day and he isn't the best at computers.. and let's not forget the computers are slow and suck so it basically means when he does get it to work it's like a two sentence long e-mail.. and then there are the phones on ship that are even worse than the computers and all you hear is "static, i love, more static, hey, more static, hear me" yeah, those are basically the conversations we have while he is on ship so if i am lucky i maybe get one of those once or twice a month. it's just so hard to go from hearing his voice every day to pretty much nothing again. i am just ready for this to be over with! today is just one of those days where i am just done with it! i keep trying to remind myself that there are only two months left, and that last night when i checked my donut of misery i only have 30% of this deployment left, but it's so hard to be positive when you know that you are hardly going to hear from them... it's also hit me how alone i feel these days. i almost feel like i just don't belong anywhere. i don't really fit in well with my single friends because we are just in two different places and i don't feel like they can relate to me at all, and then there are my married and and taken friends who have their man so if i hang out with them i'm just a third wheel.. my family tries to be as supportive as they can, but even then they don't really know what i am going through.. i'm just feeling lonely i guess and until rey gets back i think i will continue to feel that lonlieness.. okay.. i think i need to stop feeling sorry for myself so i guess i will end here.

peace in the middle east,
kristen