Sunday, July 11, 2010

My Inspiration

So awhile back I was having a really really rough couple of days and it honestly seemed like EVERYTHING that could go wrong went wrong. I then came across this talk by Elder Jeffrey R Holland and there was this one part that just really got to me and any time when I feel this overwhelming feeling of frustration or weakness I re-read a part of this talk and I thought I'd post it on my blog!

Thirty years ago last month, a little family set out to cross the United States to attend graduate school—no money, an old car, every earthly possession they owned packed into less than half the space of the smallest U-Haul trailer available. Bidding their apprehensive parents farewell, they drove exactly 34 miles up the highway, at which point their beleaguered car erupted.

Pulling off the freeway onto a frontage road, the young father surveyed the steam, matched it with his own, then left his trusting wife and two innocent children—the youngest just three months old—to wait in the car while he walked the three miles or so to the southern Utah metropolis of Kanarraville, population then, I suppose, 65. Some water was secured at the edge of town, and a very kind citizen offered a drive back to the stranded family. The car was attended to and slowly—very slowly—driven back to St. George for inspection—U-Haul trailer and all.

After more than two hours of checking and rechecking, no immediate problem could be detected, so once again the journey was begun. In exactly the same amount of elapsed time at exactly the same location on that highway with exactly the same pyrotechnics from under the hood, the car exploded again. It could not have been 15 feet from the earlier collapse, probably not 5 feet from it! Obviously the most precise laws of automotive physics were at work.

Now feeling more foolish than angry, the chagrined young father once more left his trusting loved ones and started the long walk for help once again. This time the man providing the water said, “Either you or that fellow who looks just like you ought to get a new radiator for that car.” For the second time a kind neighbor offered a lift back to the same automobile and its anxious little occupants. He didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry at the plight of this young family.

“How far have you come?” he said. “Thirty-four miles,” I answered. “How much farther do you have to go?” “Twenty-six hundred miles,” I said. “Well, you might make that trip, andyour wife and those two little kiddies might make that trip, but none of you are going to make it in that car.” He proved to be prophetic on all counts.

Just two weeks ago this weekend, I drove by that exact spot where the freeway turnoff leads to a frontage road, just three miles or so west of Kanarraville, Utah. That same beautiful and loyal wife, my dearest friend and greatest supporter for all these years, was curled up asleep in the seat beside me. The two children in the story, and the little brother who later joined them, have long since grown up and served missions, married perfectly, and are now raising children of their own. The automobile we were driving this time was modest but very pleasant and very safe. In fact, except for me and my lovely Pat situated so peacefully at my side, nothing of that moment two weeks ago was even remotely like the distressing circumstances of three decades earlier.

Yet in my mind’s eye, for just an instant, I thought perhaps I saw on that side road an old car with a devoted young wife and two little children making the best of a bad situation there. Just ahead of them I imagined that I saw a young fellow walking toward Kanarraville, with plenty of distance still ahead of him. His shoulders seemed to be slumping a little, the weight of a young father’s fear evident in his pace. In the scriptural phrase his hands did seem to “hang down.” In that imaginary instant, I couldn’t help calling out to him: “Don’t give up, boy. Don’t you quit. You keep walking. You keep trying. There is help and happiness ahead—a lot of it—30 years of it now, and still counting. You keep your chin up. It will be all right in the end. Trust God and believe in good things to come.”

I LOVE the part at the end where he is driving with his wife thirty years later because it really does give me hope! This deployment wont last forever and I truly do think Rey and I will be stronger because of this. If we can get through this we can get through anything! I can't wait for the day when Rey is out of the Marine Corps and we have kids and someday grandkids and we can tell them about this deployment and it will be nothing but a distant memory of how true love can make it through anything! I truly do believe that true happiness is ahead and even though times are tough now, they will get better.. so so so much better! Like Elder Holland said, Trust in God and believe in good things to come and I definitely do!


Friday, July 9, 2010

Hands..

Blah!! I hate knowing Rey is hurt and that I can't be there to help or make him feel better! I feel so powerless and it sucks!! I know there really isn't much I could actually do to help but all the same I really do wish I could be there!
What happened do you ask? To be honest I'm not all that sure. When he wrote me about it many words were misspelled which I am guessing has to do with his hand injuries and due to the drugs he was on after going to the surgeon for stitches. From what I understand he was carrying a big dude on a stretcher.. he tripped and his hand got stuck and rubbed against the ground which I guess is kind of like gravel and his hands got pretty torn up. He mentioned that he pretty much bled all over everyone and on his right hand you could see the bone on his pinky finger. He also said it was the most intense pain he had ever felt and I think for somebody as strong and tough as him that actually means something. I've seen this guy and every time he comes back from training he has all these cuts and scratches all over him and to me they look pretty painful and he generally says they're nothing.. so once again.. i think for him to say it was painful seriously means something!
Ugh!! Once again I hate knowing that I can't be there!! The past week or so has been such a good week for me and everything seemed to finally be going right and then when I woke up and checked my facebook and saw that I had a message from Rey with the bad news I have just been depressed! I'm sure he'll be fine and luckily has a good friend that has already told me that he'll take care of Rey but I just wish it was me doing the taking care of..

Tuesday, July 6, 2010

BEST HUSBAND EVER!!!

Yep! He's the BEST!!!






So this morning there was a knock at the door and there was a lady
with these BEAUTIFUL flowers!!! I already knew I was lucky to be
married to someone as amazingly sweet and considerate as rey, but this
was just the bestest surprise!! seriously i am so LUCKY! without a doubt
i have the bestest husband in the whole entire world!!

Monday, July 5, 2010

happy blog

since most of my posts have been depressing i figured it was time for a super happy one, and since i'm in a really good mood today i figured today would be the day! i think this good mood started saturday when i realized i have made it six whole weeks! the reason why i think its cool is because when i first got back it took about three weeks before i was able to start working back at jordan commons.. and it really feels like i just started a week ago.. so basically the time after i started went by like three times as fast as when i was doing nothing.. so i'm pretty much just stoked to have this job to keep myself busy and occupied so i don't have to sit at home feeling sorry for myself and sad because my husband isn't with me! the other thing on saturday was my brother spencer and his family from idaho came to visit and i had no idea! that night i got to go see fireworks with them and helped my niece and nephew sell glow sticks! it was pretty darn fun and who doesn't love being around family?!
well, sunday it did stink because i had to go to work in the morning.. but when i came home everyone was watching the phantom of the opera! i seriously forgot how much i love that movie!! plus, it's so crazy watching it now that gerard butler is pretty famous! half the time it doesn't even look like him! then, after that we had taylor tacos!! yummy!! after dinner my brother spencer taught us how to play this game called ticket to ride and it was seriously so fun! a little bit confusing but fun nonetheless! let's not forget that i also won!! woot woot! after the game we went outside and watched the kids do pop its and sparklers and since my house is in the middle of the street we had two firework displays going on each side which was pretty fun! plus, one family had a ton of illegal fireworks which made it even more cool! yes, the night did have a downside when my nephew got a bean.. YES A BEAN, stuck in his ear and had to go to the er. in the end it turned out fine because they finally did get it out..
then today i went to work, got a free lunch, and then won a case of vitamin water and on top of that i got time and a half! score! then after i came home from work i had gotten a very sweet facebook message from rey and he left something on my wall saying he had sent me a surprise! i seriously feel so unbelievably lucky! he is seriously the bestest husband in the whole entire world and yes, it stinks to be apart, but i feel so blessed to have someone as awesome and amazing as him to miss and love, and it's also awesome to know that he is our there missing and loving me just as much! i can't wait for the day when he not only gets back from this deployment.. but gets out of the marines and he is all mine and the only times we will ever be apart will be because we want to! for now i shall just have to try and be patient!!
well, i think that's it for now!
peace!

Friday, July 2, 2010

kristen's current thoughts

isn't it crazy how sometimes all day you just think about stuff and then finally when it comes time to express your feelings it all goes away? that's how i feel right now! my shift today at work was from one to nine and during most of that time it was pretty slow so i obviously had lots of time to think but i guess that thinking wasn't put to good enough use! so since it feels like it's been awhile since i've blogged i think this will just be a random blog post with random things!
okay! so i think one of the funniest things that happened today was two of my co-workers talking about this one guy's date! fyi, i'm pretty much made of awesome and my original shift was from twelve to five, but since this kid wanted to go on a date he asked me to switch.. so anyways! this one kid was telling this other guy about how his date was super hot! then the other guy was like 'is she really that hot?' and the kid was like 'yeah, she really is,' so then the other guy is all 'send me a picture then' and then the kid going on the date is like 'well, she's alright'. honestly, i just busted out laughing and pretty much during the rest of my shift if i even so much as thought about that conversation i couldn't help but laugh. silly boys!!
so let's see.. what else! OH! so last weekend when i was working one of my managers asked me to go over and help in Snappy's for a night and of course i went over but everyone was SUPER mean over there.. especially the supervisor! like honestly, i think that chick almost made me cry! i'm already super emotional over the fact that i'm not with my husband, and then being around biotchy people just doesn't seem to help! anyways, she kept snapping at me which i think is lame due to the fact that i haven't even stepped foot into snappys for like over three years so she could have given me a break! anyways.. i found out today that she got fired! HAHA! karma's a beezy!
now, her being fired brings me to a whole different dilemma! i think i've come to the conclusion that i think i may just want to stay at jordan commons and eventually work my way up into management since i'm pretty sure rey will bring in the real bacon and then me and my family can have free movies for life! wooooot! well, my original plan was to leave jordan commons again in december when the hubby comes home.. move to cali for like 6-8 months.. come back a month or two before rey does and get a job again at jordan commons. well, the fact that a supervisor position just opened up seems really tempting! number one.. it's REALLY hard to be back and have absolutely no power whatsoever even though i sometimes feel like i know more about what i'm doing than some of my higher ups right now! the other reason why it's tempting is because if i just stayed and worked when rey gets back.. when he gets out i could have a decently paying job, since who knows what he will be able to get when he gets out of the marines in a little over a year! plus, that way i would be closer to my goal of getting a job in management. the only thing is, this would mean rey and i would be apart for over a year and a half! yes, i know we can do it.. but i don't want to! plus, he's very likely going to get some easy job where he wont be leaving super early and getting home super late.. which means this time we'd be able to enjoy our time in california.. so i think i'd really be missing out on some awesome time that we could be spending together! I DUNNO! just super confused about it all.. although i'm like 90% sure that i'm not going to apply because rey has only been gone about six weeks as of right now and i miss him SOOOOO much and can't imagine what a year and a half would feel like!
anyways.. i'm feeling uber tired and have work again tomorrow so i think it's time for me to hit the sack! goodnight!!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

one month down.. six to go

so, we have finally made it!! rey and i have reached our one month mark of this deployment! only six more to go! part of me thinks i can do it, but then another part of me realizes that six months is a long time.. half a year.. and then i get super discouraged. i really am doing my best to stay positive but after all that has happened it's really really hard! honestly, it really does seem like rey and i can never catch a break! as happy as i am to have started my job it is now getting in the way of rey and i getting to talk. on a ship full of tons and tons of marines and sailors there are only FIVE computers that the marines are allowed to use, which in the end means they are only allowed twenty minutes at a time which means i don't really get much time to chat with him anyway, and when i'm at work most of the time these days it makes it even harder. not to mention the fact that the stupid phones on the ship are super unreliable!! of the three times that he has been able to call and the phones actually work while on ship i was only able to make out what he was saying one time and then after only three short minutes the call cut out!
so, i know i should be thankful for the e-mails that i get almost daily but i can't help but get a tad bit discouraged when i remember how when he was in iraq i got to talk to him every other week for a half hour a day! although, i will say that i would much rather have him be safe on a ship rather than in a war zone. i seriously pray and thank God every single day that rey is not in afghanistan. i am a wreck as it is and if he were there i honestly have no idea how i'd be coping. it's definitely scary over there and for the marine wives that i know who have husbands over there they and their husbands are in my prayers every single day! so i guess when all is said and done that is something that i can be thankful and grateful for in this horrible situation. deployments are just not fun and everyday when i check my facebook and see people talking about being with their husbands and what not i can't help but envy them and think this isn't fair, this isn't how my life is supposed to be. i'm supposed to wake up every single morning and go to bed every single night snuggled up to my husband... not cry myself to sleep every night and wake up the next day just wanting to stay in bed!
although, if there is one thing that i will take away from this it is that i am stronger than i know! i never in a million years thought i would be strong enough to go through this.. not once, but twice. i hear people say to me all the time that they don't think they'd be able to do it, and they'd never be able to be apart from their husband that long and it usually annoys the crap out of me because i didn't think i'd be strong enough either but i do it anyway because i love rey and if we have to spend seven months apart to be able to spend the rest of our lives together i'll do it. yes, it may be hard, but i'm willing to take on that challenge because rey is worth it! mine and rey's future is definitely worth it! he is my bestest friend and i love him with all of my heart and i would do absolutely anything for him! so you know what.. as much as the idea of six months scare me, bring it on! i've already gone through so much in just one month i don't think there is much more that i can't handle.. and as the saying goes, even though i am one day further from when i last saw rey, i am one day closer to being back in his arms!

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

WORK & BLAH!

Sometimes it feels like I can't ever catch a break and right now is definitely one of those times! However, I think I shall start off on the only positive note! I FINALLY started work! Even though the first monday I was back in Utah I went in to get my job back I didn't actually start working in the movie theatre until three in and half weeks into this deployment, which to me seems kind of bogus! Anyways, I finally started and I'm so excited to finally have a productive way to pass my time! The first day was good, but a tad bit iffy, but the second day was awesome and loved all the people I worked with! Plus, I got my schedule for next week and I'm working two eight hour shifts and in all around 28 hours! so yeah, super sweetest ever!
Okay, now on the the sucky stuff! somehow i seemed to have messed up my back! For a little while I couldn't sit, stand up, or bend over without this crazy excruciating pain shooting up and down my back! Luckily it's started to slightly go away, but it's still there. So that has definitely been no fun! Then, of course the check engine light in the truck has to go off so I went in to get it fixed and of course it ends up being one of the more expensive possibilities of what was wrong with it and I ended up having to spend $450 to get it fixed! Then, we have been waiting and waiting for Rey to get my first package since I sent it off four days after he deployed and guess what! When the mail finally got to the ship Rey was the ONLY one that didn't get something! WTF?! I know that I was one of the first wives in my group of friends to send off a package yet all their hubbies got theres! So yeah, I'm rather discouraged about that! Especially since Rey already told me he was feeling a little low and then to have everyone else get a cool package definitely had to be a tough blow so honestly I'm more upset for his sake! To top this all off the phones have not been working for the past week on the ship and Rey wanted to call me since our anniversary was on the 11th.. so yeah, today, the one time he calls I WAS AT FREAKING WORK!! blah! it's just so frustrating! After all this crap that has happened I just want to hear his voice telling me it's going to be okay and that he loves me, but obviously I can't be that lucky!
So yeah, I really am excited for work because after all that has happened I really need a good distraction and maybe less of this bull crap that keeps seeming to come my way!