one month down.. six to go

so, we have finally made it!! rey and i have reached our one month mark of this deployment! only six more to go! part of me thinks i can do it, but then another part of me realizes that six months is a long time.. half a year.. and then i get super discouraged. i really am doing my best to stay positive but after all that has happened it's really really hard! honestly, it really does seem like rey and i can never catch a break! as happy as i am to have started my job it is now getting in the way of rey and i getting to talk. on a ship full of tons and tons of marines and sailors there are only FIVE computers that the marines are allowed to use, which in the end means they are only allowed twenty minutes at a time which means i don't really get much time to chat with him anyway, and when i'm at work most of the time these days it makes it even harder. not to mention the fact that the stupid phones on the ship are super unreliable!! of the three times that he has been able to call and the phones actually work while on ship i was only able to make out what he was saying one time and then after only three short minutes the call cut out!

so, i know i should be thankful for the e-mails that i get almost daily but i can't help but get a tad bit discouraged when i remember how when he was in iraq i got to talk to him every other week for a half hour a day! although, i will say that i would much rather have him be safe on a ship rather than in a war zone. i seriously pray and thank God every single day that rey is not in afghanistan. i am a wreck as it is and if he were there i honestly have no idea how i'd be coping. it's definitely scary over there and for the marine wives that i know who have husbands over there they and their husbands are in my prayers every single day! so i guess when all is said and done that is something that i can be thankful and grateful for in this horrible situation. deployments are just not fun and everyday when i check my facebook and see people talking about being with their husbands and what not i can't help but envy them and think this isn't fair, this isn't how my life is supposed to be. i'm supposed to wake up every single morning and go to bed every single night snuggled up to my husband... not cry myself to sleep every night and wake up the next day just wanting to stay in bed!

although, if there is one thing that i will take away from this it is that i am stronger than i know! i never in a million years thought i would be strong enough to go through this.. not once, but twice. i hear people say to me all the time that they don't think they'd be able to do it, and they'd never be able to be apart from their husband that long and it usually annoys the crap out of me because i didn't think i'd be strong enough either but i do it anyway because i love rey and if we have to spend seven months apart to be able to spend the rest of our lives together i'll do it. yes, it may be hard, but i'm willing to take on that challenge because rey is worth it! mine and rey's future is definitely worth it! he is my bestest friend and i love him with all of my heart and i would do absolutely anything for him! so you know what.. as much as the idea of six months scare me, bring it on! i've already gone through so much in just one month i don't think there is much more that i can't handle.. and as the saying goes, even though i am one day further from when i last saw rey, i am one day closer to being back in his arms!