kristen's fairytale: it hit, and it hit HARD!

goodbyes are never easy, especially when it happens to be your bestest friend who you love more than anybody or anything! the night that i had to say goodbye to rey was probably one of the hardest nights of my life! i know that he hates to see me sad and cry so i did my very best to hold it all back, but since i am in fact a huge baby i couldn't help but shed a few tears as we gave each other one last hug and kiss. plus, the whole car ride back from the hotel was me just bawling, luckily he wasn't there to see me, especially when i gave him one last glance through my rear view mirror. in the end as i pulled into the hotel parking lot i of course did my best to compose myself since i am not the type that likes to look weak and of course i didn't want my mom to see me cry. the next day i made the long car ride back to utah! although, my mind was pretty much on rey the whole entire time so it went pretty fast since i really wasn't paying all that much attention to the road.. which probably isn't the best thing, but at least i made it here safe and sound!! that night i got one last phone call from rey for who knows how long..

the next day, and pretty much the first real day of the deployment went pretty well. i spent the whole day unpacking and doing my best to get my room ready until my parents got back from the temple and we went out to dinner. after dinner i went over to my friend amanda's to cook smores with her and mikaele. it was such an awesome distraction and a pretty good night to help take my mind off the pain of not having rey here and the upcoming seven months. i already know from the last deployment that the best thing to do was keep busy, and this just made it all sink in even more!

well, after the day i had yesterday i figured i could really do this and this deployment would be so much easier than last time, but today it truly did hit me. while at church pretty much every single person asked me how long i was staying, and where rey was, and when i'd get to talk to him, and of course they would all ask how am i doing. i truly do hate that question because i honestly don't think they want to hear that i'm doing horrible and this is one of the hardest things to deal with, but most people will just get the same old 'doing good, hanging in there' response except for a few close friends and family who i feel may understand what i'm going through. i know many people experience long distance relationships and other such things, but i truly don't think anybody except for another military wife can truly understand what i am going through. basically the whole time while i was at church i was doing my best to not just break down and cry! to make matters worse i came home to see all the other pictures fellow marine wives had taken, particularly the ones of the ship leaving since i wasn't able to go and watch. i hate knowing that i wasn't able to see him go off since that truly is a once in a lifetime experience. in the end today has just been a horrible day of me doing my best to try and remind myself that i can do this and that in the end that first hug and kiss from rey when he gets back will make it all worth it.

well, i think that's all i have to say for now.. i added a few pictures... oh and sorry for being such a downer.. i just felt like i needed to get it all out!